Tag Archives: prayer

“Faith in worship”

It's 6 am, and I am laying in bed wide awake, I have been awake for a couple hours now, and after willing myself to "go back to sleep", with no such luck, my body is a clock, no matter, how late, how tired…….my body gets up at 4am.

So after listening to my worship music, turning and tossing, trying to "will" my body back to sleep, I call uncle!

So as I lay here, typing up my to do list for today. And playing phase 10, I decided I am going to do my devotion and set up H2H for today.

Last week took a break from the "norm", H2H is my baby Ministry, I don't want to operate on "robot mode", I don't want to post because it's what is expected, I want it to reach and minister to me first and then the ladies in the group, so as I try to figure out a picture for our "corporate worship room" today, I type into google "faith in worship", I wanted to see what will show up and of course so many pictures did, from cover of CD, to Ministry that has faith and worship in their names, to several that look very promising to me that demonstrated faith in worship

How do I choose? Well so much is speaking to me and several will be a perfect fit, but as I scroll I saw it, a man with out stretch arms and a cross (on Calvary) but the cross is leaning toward the worshipper! (See image) that's it "oh but for grace that runs from Calvary", that my faith in action.
When I lay awake in my bed, worrying about my kids, my health, my business, so much going on, the storms are redundant, you don't post of social media any more because it's "again"! So you message a couple friend and update them on the latest saga and ask to continue to keep your family in prayers.
You try to find a scripture that will encourage your heart, that will give you the grace and the strength to wake up and face this new day, yes it's a new day, it's Sunday, a beginning of a new week, his mercies are new, but for me it's still a struggle,

I check on my daughter who is sleeping and wonder if she will wake up in pain.
I pray for my boys and their situation
I pray for my grand-baby that today is a new day and he will be feeling better so his mom can have a better day, that she can find brand new mercies as she deal with pregnancy and a sick toddler.
I pray and I pray!

I scroll on Facebook to see what every one is posting this time of the morning, I click on some friends post about politic, faith, adoption.

All of this to distract me so I can get up! The struggle to start my day and face a new day is real……

So as I see the picture the one for H2H corporate worship room and as I type this blog, just type, no thinking it through and get it prep, I just type and I listening to my worship music, " I stand" by Hillsong comes on perfect! I switch out from typing this blog, share on Facebook my current situation. #writing this blog and I stand on repeat.

Then I think of the picture that inspired this blog, yes #ohbutforgracethatrunsfromcalvary
My life, my storms, my challenges, are not redundant to him

Right here I don't have the answers, I am lost, sometimes angry at God, don't understand his will, yes I trust his way, but I struggle with the "working for my good", I can't stop the tears,
I pray and I say it's too much,

Yes it's too much for me, so help me "yoke" to you so you can help me "bear my burdens", remind me that I am overwhelm and tired because I am trying to carry it by myself, remind me to always find my center in you, remind me that you know exactly where each of my kids are and what they need, remind me that you love them so much more than I could ever love them.

Yes remind me!

#ohbutforgracethatrunsfromcalvary

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A little coffee and a whole lot of Jesus!

A friend of mines, who knows my coffee addiction and maybe my love for worship music, sent me a picture "all I need is a little coffee and a whole lot of Jesus", well she got the "whole lot of Jesus" part correct but I need a whole lot of coffee on most days!

Just to stay saved, not to blow up at the driver, who doesn't wait for pedestrian to cross. Or the clerk who gets my order wrong after telling her several time, and let not talk about calling sprint or an agency that decides to put you on hold.
If you put doctors and insurance in that mix, I am about to loose my salvation just thinking of them. So yes to deal with "adults" and this crazy world and technology and……. give me Jesus in the morning, noon at night and in between, of my headphones are in my ears I am trying to get more Jesus, because I don't have bail money and please if you see me with my coffee, check the level because that will tell you my tolerance level.

I know this is where I say "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" and yes I can and will as soon as I have coffee, worship music, some bible journaling time, coffee, more coffee and Jesus!!!!!

My disclaimer I don't do adults! I don't like "adulting"
I rather spend my days at my desk journaling and I am sure the people who comes in contact with me, will rather me at home also, but since there are bills to be paid and grand-kids to spoil, then yes Lord! Give me a lot of coffee and a lot of Jesus and keep it on repeat!!!!

It’s all I have! Is it enough (prayer) 

As Rae-Quel will say. "your struggles", yes the struggle is real! I told a friend of mines, I feel like a whining child…

Lord in your mercies hear my prayer! Father please do something. Help me God, save ….. father. Protect…..father! Lord! God! Jesus! Jesus!

Or my favorite phase- when I can't say with my lips hear it from my heart, yep he is sick of me, or I am sick of me…… 

so grateful he is a good, good father that encourages me to come daily and as much as I need to and he doesn't get tired, he doesn't shut down, he doesn't block me out, he just holds me as I try to pray, as I try to talk to him! Yes he never gets tired.

So I told a friend, that prayer is all I have, I can't make any of the situation we are praying about worked out on my own. I need to God move and be God, in all of these situation so yeah prayer is all I have,

She responded,  it's enough! I smiled! It is enough! All I have to do is prayer, all I can do is pray, all God wants me to do is pray! So "on bended knees, head bowed, humble, feeble, with out the right words, I come

Our father……. my dad!

Which are in heaven- lord I enter your throne, I come into your space 

Hallowed be thy name- I sing praises because you are worth and your name is to be praised 

Thy kingdom come – Let your kingdom come, please show up in the lives and situation of every-one

Thy will be done- oh God! I don't understand it! But let your will be done in my life and in every situation

On earth as it is in heaven! Lord! Oh lord! 

Give me this day my daily bread- give me enough grace to make it through today. 

Forgive me as I forgive others and when it's hard to forgive help me to remember I neeed so much from you……

Yes prayer is all I have! It is enough! It's all he wants…….

I can do this!!!!!