“Faith in worship”

It's 6 am, and I am laying in bed wide awake, I have been awake for a couple hours now, and after willing myself to "go back to sleep", with no such luck, my body is a clock, no matter, how late, how tired…….my body gets up at 4am.

So after listening to my worship music, turning and tossing, trying to "will" my body back to sleep, I call uncle!

So as I lay here, typing up my to do list for today. And playing phase 10, I decided I am going to do my devotion and set up H2H for today.

Last week took a break from the "norm", H2H is my baby Ministry, I don't want to operate on "robot mode", I don't want to post because it's what is expected, I want it to reach and minister to me first and then the ladies in the group, so as I try to figure out a picture for our "corporate worship room" today, I type into google "faith in worship", I wanted to see what will show up and of course so many pictures did, from cover of CD, to Ministry that has faith and worship in their names, to several that look very promising to me that demonstrated faith in worship

How do I choose? Well so much is speaking to me and several will be a perfect fit, but as I scroll I saw it, a man with out stretch arms and a cross (on Calvary) but the cross is leaning toward the worshipper! (See image) that's it "oh but for grace that runs from Calvary", that my faith in action.
When I lay awake in my bed, worrying about my kids, my health, my business, so much going on, the storms are redundant, you don't post of social media any more because it's "again"! So you message a couple friend and update them on the latest saga and ask to continue to keep your family in prayers.
You try to find a scripture that will encourage your heart, that will give you the grace and the strength to wake up and face this new day, yes it's a new day, it's Sunday, a beginning of a new week, his mercies are new, but for me it's still a struggle,

I check on my daughter who is sleeping and wonder if she will wake up in pain.
I pray for my boys and their situation
I pray for my grand-baby that today is a new day and he will be feeling better so his mom can have a better day, that she can find brand new mercies as she deal with pregnancy and a sick toddler.
I pray and I pray!

I scroll on Facebook to see what every one is posting this time of the morning, I click on some friends post about politic, faith, adoption.

All of this to distract me so I can get up! The struggle to start my day and face a new day is real……

So as I see the picture the one for H2H corporate worship room and as I type this blog, just type, no thinking it through and get it prep, I just type and I listening to my worship music, " I stand" by Hillsong comes on perfect! I switch out from typing this blog, share on Facebook my current situation. #writing this blog and I stand on repeat.

Then I think of the picture that inspired this blog, yes #ohbutforgracethatrunsfromcalvary
My life, my storms, my challenges, are not redundant to him

Right here I don't have the answers, I am lost, sometimes angry at God, don't understand his will, yes I trust his way, but I struggle with the "working for my good", I can't stop the tears,
I pray and I say it's too much,

Yes it's too much for me, so help me "yoke" to you so you can help me "bear my burdens", remind me that I am overwhelm and tired because I am trying to carry it by myself, remind me to always find my center in you, remind me that you know exactly where each of my kids are and what they need, remind me that you love them so much more than I could ever love them.

Yes remind me!


Backstage pass

So I have a cleaning company, my daughter helped me start about 5 years ago, it has had it struggles like every other businesses but I love it most of the time.

I love to clean and I love what I do, it's actually therapy for me, but some days I can do with out the customers (humans/adult interaction) I really don't do adults.

Anyway I live in DC and it has it benefit having a cleaning company here 😱, but there a few things behind the scenes as client trust us to let us into their home and take care of their things that amazes me on the daily bases.

Denial customers- they are in denial about everything, how long it will take. How dirty/clutter their homes are, and what is a reasonable price for the Job.

Twice clean- oh I love them, they tell us, oh we have to clean up before you come, I never used to understand the need to clean before the cleaners come until yesterday, when I had a client. That I wished cleaned before I got there.

Picture perfect- are the ones the homes are absolutely clean, they clean themselves and usually just need a professional overhaul, but will most likely think their homes are dirty…. oh how I wish

Most of our customers are really genuinely nice, we have had some over the years that I have called " can't pay me enough" clients. I don't do drama and demanding to a point, it's one of the reason why I am self-employed. So when there is a blizzard, storm, act of God and I call to re-scheduled and you are angry and ask why can't my cleaners make it, and I am telling you safety first means they can't and you spend 30 mins fusing about how long ago it was on the scheduled, you have……. so unless they are dead you expect them to clean……. its when I take a deep breath very loudly so you can hear me breath and count to 1000 before I respond with, I am so sorry but not willing to risk my life or my cleaners life, please accept our apologies with the refund of your money! And they grasp! You are refunding us, not even want to re-scheduled any more…….
Hmmm I'm thinking how can I say what am thinking nicely……..
some days, some clients there is no way to say it nicely so you just go with "when he'll freezes over, will we clean your house"! Okay not nice, not Godly, gotta work on that.

But those are the less than one percent over the last 5/6 years of business so not a bad record.

I am grateful every day, that most of our clients are really sweet and wonderful and just want a service with integrity and passion for what they do and we try, we really try.

I usually don't talk about tipping because again it personal across borders and we truly appreciate the one that tip, as a business owner I strive to pay my employees the high end of the going rate in the market, so they can feed their family and not depend on tip to make up the difference…..

I have signed the petition to raise minimum wages to $15, especially in DC where the cost of living is so high and yes I will love to see more people tip in the industry, because less than 20 percent tip, we are alway grateful and gracious to those who tips and tip above the "market standard", personal I do not judge and I will still take a client as a "regular", even if they don't tip, I have had cleaners refuse to work with some customers because they aren't tippers and they feel un-appreciated, this is what I call "to each his own".. life goes on….

Personally I don't build in tips in fees because o feel you should be given the chance to be as generous as you need and want to be, but yes there are days when after a long day, difficult client and lack of appreciation I have considered building in tips in fees for some clients….. still praying on that concept…

The thing is at the end of the day, I really love what I do and it makes me feel amazing to see the instant gratification that comes with cleaning up a space, it's a reminder that God takes the mess I gave him and turns it every day, every time into a masterpiece. He gives me a "clean" home after I mess up!

So as I take the every home, every situation as a reminder to give my mess to God, as each client turns over their homes to me I in turn must turn over my home, my heart, my body to the ultimate cleaner of messes…..

Frogs and snail and puppy dog tails

So my oldest son got the "long awaited" acceptance to Virginia Fire Department, I am so proud of him, he had to overcome so much during this process just to get here, this is a dream come true for him, he has always wanted to be a fire-fighter since he was 4 and rode a "real" fire truck.

He is a rescuer by nature, but since receiving the acceptance letter, I had to sit and imagine him in uniform and all his gear, yes he is strong and built, he works out and know everything there is about training but see as his mom, I see my baby.

The little boy that asked for "Donald's" for dinner, the one that hid the frog in his pants, because he wanted a pet after I told him how gross they were.

That little boy, that wanted his sister to go back to "her people" at the hospital.

The kid that used tonka trucks as skates
The one that gave me a heart attack every day because with out "warning" he will jump and in mid air scream, mom catch, oh boy! By the grace of God I have never dropped him,

So yes he is on to bigger things, he is crushing mountain and slaying giants but he will still be my little boy,
The one I hold at night and sing "you are my sunshine", the one who can imitate every Tyler Perry movie, that one that gave new meaning to " we are family"!

Yes Rayshawn is on his way to saving lives and on to being an amazing public servant, but he first saved my life, that day, when I almost swallowed a bottle of pills, except I didn't want my then 5 year old to be the one that finds my body.

So frogs and snails and puppy dogs tails but this little boy is on his way!


Jeremiah 29:11, is one of my favorite scripture and then it became Rae-Quel's Life scriptures, what not to like. For I know the thoughts I think towards you! What God is thinking of me and his thought are to give me a future and a hope! Ok yep I like that….but lately as I say it, pray it, speak it, write it, journal it, my future from where I am at looks so bleak, with everything here in the natural, I don't have a future or want the future I am seeing with my natural eyes, so I repeat it again for I know the thoughts……… to give you a future and a hope!
Ok God you have to make this plain and simple for me to understand and see, because I can sit here and tell you about any parts of my life and tell you what I see…… and that's not a hope and a future…. more doctors. More disappointments. more crying, more prayers……..

For my ways aren't yours, oh yeah! You are the great I am, the creator of the universe and you are the only one in control……
Ok breath, for I know the thoughts I think toward you said the lord of host, thought of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope!

My ways aren't yours!
I hold this world in the palms of my hands
I am that I am……..

Yes! Gotta just trust him

Hello August

Yes tomorrow is the first day of August and so many of us want time so slow down, so we can catch up and catch our breath, and then there are some who is waiting for a day "far in the future" that time seems to be "snailing, creeping by". I know God is laughing at us, per usually, some wants time to hurry up and some-wants it to "please slow down".

If you have small children August means back to school for most states, yes some is already back to school, I am always amazed, when it was June, some parents, mostly moms were posting about the end of school, some were excite to have kids home, less stressful schedules, vacations, free time etc, other were not so much, the empty fridge, the friends, the "more chores", it really is a matter of perspective, glass half empty or half full,

Now some are mourning the start of school, the stress, the schedules and oh yes, some is already planning their first day of school celebration,

We can have an opinion about both side, we can Critique both side, or finds common ground, we love our kids and are doing what best works for us and our family.

Then there are home school moms, who follows the regular school schedule of their state or like me, home-schooled, all year every day, because we never stop learning and it doesn't have to be in a book.

The thing is we do what works for us, we set goals and schedules that is best for us and whether you are looking forward to the first day of school, or threading it, as a new month approaches, first day will be here no matter what, so we may has well plan and prepare for it and there is absolutely nothing we can do to change the speed of time, so again, we look to the creator of all things, we see the God moments, we prepare and spend the days, living them to the fullest so at the end their is no regret and if we missed the mark, tomorrow will soon be here, sooner or later!

“Daddy’s girl”

Yes I am a daddy's girl, nope not my "human/bio dad" as much as I loved him and know somewhere he loves me, even if it was sick and twisted, I am grateful that he was involved in my life and there were some "normal daddy/daughters moment", that's another blog.

But yes I am a "daddy's girl", my adopted mom, when ever she prayed in my hearing for me, she will say "your daughter and mines, who you loves so much", it was hard at first to imagine God has father, then as "daddy" but oh boy! Did I learn quickly that he was the best dad a girl can ask for and I so have fallen in love with him as he has loved and is loving me from the beginning!
Yep I tell him about the bullies, and the boys, and the men and asked are they the ones!
I have learned to go to him and give him my problems knowing he is really great at fixing them,

Oh I am such a daddy's girl and I remind myself daily that he paid a high ransom to get me back from the enemy and he would do it all over again.

He loves me with an everlasting love!
He fearfully and wonderfully made me in his image because he wanted every-one to know I belong to him

When I pull away, he comes right where I am even in hell to rescue me

Yep I am a daddy's girl, love and protected by him always!
He is my provider
He is my keeper
He is my rock
He is my savior
He is my Lord and King
He is my every thing

I am a daddy's girl and he has given his life so I can have abundant, eternally life!


“Murphy’s law meets warrior princess”

"Pregnancy problems",as she calls them!

Rae-Quell having a difficult pregnancy is an under statement. She gives new meaning to HG, morning sickness and a heighten sense of smell that goes right back to the never- ending nauseous and vomiting.

And just in case that not enough let's add seizure, migraine, 22q to that mix and yeah she is having a "wonderful" time.

Once again the girl changes her major and decides she is going to get her CDA before the baby gets here and after calling a couple day-care centers she found one that allows her to do her volunteers hours…..

This morning, " Murphy's law" shows up, rushing to meet me for breakfast before I meet up with a client, she left her wallet at home, having to get off the bus a few stops from home, and having to walk back to the house only to realized she is locked out again, yes back to the bus stop praying a driver will let her ride, to me….

Yay but for grace she got to me, money in hand for a new buss pass and on her way to her program, she goes right, not a problem….

Then I get the text, I'm done with this day, I lost my "smart trip" yep the same one I just gave her money to buy….. and she typed I just want to go back to bed and start over but I can't even do that because I am locked out…… oh boy I feel you!
Yes I want to tell her call the center, cancel, come get my keys and go home and do some bible journaling…..

Nope! This is life, as much as we don't like to do "adulting" we just had to deal….

So I typed, breathe! Take the money for my "swaps supplies" get something to eat, get a new bus pass and go to your program….

I know something's she doesn't know, going to the center and working with the kids will be exactly what she needs and most importantly, this "warrior princess" is going to "slay her giants" and keep on keeping on!

So off with your head "Mr. Murphy's Law", look out this warrior princess is coming for you and you my friend is going to fall….#slayinggiantsisahobbyforus

So to her program, she went and is still there!