Take It In Stride

“Take it in stride” he said. What? Have you met me? Do you even know me? I am borderline OCD. He smiled, “borderline? I see your still in denial”. I pout but smile, you sound like my daughter as I rolled my eyes. “You can roll them but you can’t shoot them” he still smiling. This convo is over! How old are we and this convo is old. “Okay so why do we keep having it”.

Rob is my bestie for life. He calls it like he sees it and as a motivation speaker by occupation and pastor by vocation our conversation as a part of his job is hazardous. He just can’t help himself but I have to make a plan, do a to do list, set reminders and yes life happens and reluctantly, very reluctantly I move with life because I don’t have a choice. Emergencies, changes, curve balls are the speciality of my normal life but I won’t say I take it in stride. I cope, I manage, I adjust and scream and then I spass to Rob knowing he can’t help himself and will most likely bring some of his cliches to my attention. Okay so I may not take it in stride but I learned to adapt.

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More Bible-Journaling

Since I am on this sabbatical that I call a retreat that I did not sign up for. The tears are less and I am still asking why? I know the experience is not for naught, I would just love to get the lesson without the experience. Anyway Bible journaling is my anchor even more. I don’t have all my fun supplies I really only have the basic and it’s all that I need. I used to tell anyone who asked me about bible journaling all you need is a bible , crayons, and pen/pencil. Everything else is a plus so I have more than enough to do it. I miss my sweet swap sisters and the support and bond god gave me in the first phase of this journey/battle but I realized he was giving me a foundation on which I will have to conquer this battle and for that I am grateful. What I don’t have in supplies I have in scenic view and I know in order to conquer this battle and get the spirit I need to keep building my bible-journaling foundation one brick and one color at a time.

Homelessness

If you live in America and for me I want to say Washington DC, you will have to live under a rock to not know this is most likely an epidemic of homelessness even as you are reading this blog you may had experienced homelessness.

Most of the time when we think of homeless we think living in the streets, panhandling and most likely have a mental illness or a little step up is living in a family shelter and there are programs helping you get on your feet and if you are not getting on your feet you must be doing something wrong like drugs or mismanaging your funds etc.

The truth is most of us are one paycheck away from homelessness and that’s our reality. If it’s not a lack of education problem, a lack of decent job problem, or an under or unemployed problem its just a reality if the situation. One wrong turn as in a divorce, an unexpected illness or a death can tip the scale and you can find yourself homeless or displaced. As I am writing this I am thinking and praying for the people who may for the first time find themselves homeless because of the previous hurricanes. America has moved on but there are families that are now homeless and will ha e to work twice as hard to recover and restore. It is for this reason I have decided to share some stories of some of the families that has been brave enough to share their stories with me knowing I will write a series of blogs…. Stay Tuned!

Just. Not Fair.

A few years ago, one of my pastors, Pastor H preached a sermon about God being a just God. For me that should mean life is fair right? If you work hard, you’re a good person, you are a christian, love God, obey God’s law and the law of the land then you’re life should show it. You should have the rewards of a hardworker but in reality that is not so. Justice is blind, the scales are not weighed and balanced, the good hardworking person doesn’t always win (at least not here and now) the truth is it seems like the system itself is set up to keep the hardworking down and those who will use and abuse the system will get ahead.

I am not being cynical and this blog is not even about a broken system because it’s all temporary. I tell my kids “life is not fair but you still get to live it and conquer mountains”. So how do we see God being just when life is so unfair? The thing is God is not moved bybtge natural and our situation does not move him. He moves our situation and as David says, “the wicked enjoys for a season it is temporary for them but a just God who gives us more than what we deserve, who gives us his best is setting us up for a higher place our reward is permanent and yes it can be discouraging at times but o rather suffer a little here now and have a hope and future on God, then prosper now and be damned to help.

So grateful that God is just.

I love you forever

A few months after I got to America I went to an All day self-esteem workshop. I’m not sure how and why, 27 years later I can’t even remember the speaker name but what pregnant 19 year old moving into a new country does not need a self-esteem workshop. What I remember was they dealt with body types, colors and clothes that fit each. It was actually my first workshop. What I do remember about it is that she read the book ” I love you forever” by Robert Munch and gave all the participants a copy it. That book changed bedtime for my kids starting with the first. I have read that book a million times over the past 27 years and to this day my family still says “I love you forever, I love you for always, as long as I’m living, my _____ you’ll be”. I love giving it as a baby shower gift.

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Handpicked

I love giving present and receiving them but who doesn’t, the thing is finding the prefect present for the person. I have to admit with amazon, wish, and so much online options it’s easy to just order something and ship it directly to the person it saves time and sometimes money maybe all the time for me any way because it helps me not to go overboard and buy things I didn’t intend to do. The thing though, there is not much thought to it even if it is something the person liked or want it can be so ……. but to have someone take the time, go to the store, handpick what they know you liked and want, buy it, wrap it and bring it to you. Well in today’s world that speaks volume. It says that person thought so much of you.
Well as I think of my 4 kids each unique, different, amazing, talented, from the quiet bookworm to the drive me to drink and pull my hair out spoiled brat and the in between. I know my kids are handpicked by God for me. He did not just sit by a computer and put in a order and shipped it directly to me instead he took his time and formed, numbered, designed, and created each one of them in his likeliness and then placed them with me to cherish and love. I have not always made the right decision and yes I’ve made my mistakes but as I look at my “gifts” handpicked by an amazing God who always know whats best, I am in love with the gifts he has given me.
#chroniclesofamompic5

His Ways, Purpose, and Promises

Just after I had Timothy being a avid listener to “focus on the family” and James Dopson, i got and read his book ” Having faith when God does not make sense”.
It was the perfect timing because nothing in my life made sense. I had just had a very sick baby and doctors were trying to practice medicines. There were most things wrong then answers, during that season of misdiagnosis, wrong diagnosis, and more test. I start to remember to have faith when nothing made sense so I took it one day at a time, mostly operating on autopilot or what I call robot mode and trusting god that he had a plan and a purpose and was working it out. I did not question his ways, I just looked at my family and trusted God to work it out for our good and he did above and beyond.
I look back and still amazed and still ask how? Today as I looked at my current situation the storm has been at it’s worst everyone and everything I love is on the line. This time I am asking why? I know he promises that I have a hop and a future but I ask why. Is it necessary for me, for us to go this way to fulfill his purpose nevertheless and I surrender my will to his and yes I still tell him I dont understand his way. I don’t know what he is doing and when my faith is weaken, reminds me that ” his way has a purpose” he has a plan, purpose and promise to me and mines and then I ask him to help me and trust him.
Its a daily surrender my will to his will. As I look at my kids hurting and struggling to get a grip, my heart breaks and then I put my hand on my heart for a few moments. I breath and slowly I remind myself that we are not alone, god is in the midst of this and even when I don’t understand his way, when I don’t see the path, I just have to trust his plan and surrender to his will.
So I encourage my kids and myself to hold on just a little longer, then the page, start a new chapter and allow his prefect will to be done in the midst of it all.
#chroniclesofasurrenderedlife

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